227: Stages of Fatherhood

Being a father has many stages. I've been a father for eighteen year and here's what i think of being a father so far.

Stage 1 - First few months, you start not to get enough sleep (and sex), lose some weight and smell like baby drool when you go to the office. Your house resembles a factory of large-packed diapers.

Stage 2 - More diapers. You start talking like a baby. Words like "dada", "baba" comes out naturally. traveling is a challenge. Your luggage resemble a whole month visit but in reality you're just going to your in-laws for a few hours. If you're not visiting your in-laws, they visit you instead  and more often than not they teach you a trick or two in parenting.

Stage 3 - You start to gain weight for eating all the leftovers from happy meals and ice creams they wanted but never can finish. You can't go out with your friends because no one will take care of the kids. Your house is a mess, you can't see your floor because toys and books are everywhere.

Stage 4 - You make sure you don't kiss them in public because they get embarrassed. Suddenly you are on your own because they rather go out with friends than going with you. You start to brush up on your math, english and history to survive the debate. You start to get few words like "fine", "i guess", "i don't know" or "I don't care".

There will be more as time goes by. You're a father from erection to resurrection. Bottom line is, you knew what you're gonna get and you're not going anywhere.