Aemes at 17

Today marks Veronica Aemes Nicolle Bringas' 17th death anniversary. I am reviving my blog to keep her alive in this world.

I miss you Aemes...

237: Unplugged

There was a frantic call from my family back home today as I was about to leave for the office. They saw my posting on Facebook that I will be arriving over the weekend. As I was talking to my brother, I can hear chatters and music in the background. Sounds like everybody's having fun, I told my brother. "Well everyone is going crazy! Are you really coming home?", he asked. I laugh and told him no but don't tell anyone. Of course they know that it was all a joke. But it was a good laugh.

My brother then passed the phone to my mom. She sounds very happy but obviously didn't hide a little sadness due to the fact that she expected me to be there. I told her I was quite disappointed myself but my long awaited trip back home will have to wait. We finally bade our goodbyes as I can hear in the background my brother shouting about phone bills.

It was a great way to start the day. I drove by the California freeway as the morning rush was waning. I turned on the radio and caught Dan Henley (Hotel California Unplugged Live) saying "...and I was thinking to myself this could be heaven or this could be hell....you can check out anytime you like but you can never leave!" Really?

236: Women know what men want

Got a chance to watch the Padre's game tonight but instead gave away all my tickets. I'm not a baseball fan but it would have been nice to go out on a friday night, a fitting end of a crazy week.

But it was just one of those days when you just want to go home and lay on the couch. After all, I got to catch up on my DVR viewing. I have not finished watching the Tour De France (even though it was over a week ago and am still in the Pyrenees), 10 episodes of Sienfeld, Curly, Larry and Moe, King of Queens, Big Bang and yes Gilmore Girls.

Of course, I caught a glimpse of my mom on Facebook and a blow by blow stories from my sister on her trip back home.  No thanks to the government (for shifting to the so called e-passport which ironically takes ages to process), I would have been suffering (happily) with the humid weather back home.

Instead I'm laughing silently with Jerry saying"Women know what men want and men know what men want...We want want women. How do we get them? We don't have any idea. Men gets frustrated when they see women reading articles like Where to Meet Men. We are here...we are everywhere".

235: Am back home...sort of

It's happening I thought. After quite an eternity of waiting, the intercom suddenly crackled. "Ladies and Gentlemen we are now approaching Ninoy Aquino International Airport. Today's temperature is 32 degrees celcius. The local time is 6PM. Welcome to Manila and thank you for flying Hawaiian Airlines". I jumped out of my chair startled. I feel the cold in my room and it was all dark. It took me a while to regain consciousness. My phone vibrated and I sleepy checked an in coming text message. It was my sister. "Leaving in a few hours, will call you with mama when we get there". She's leaving for the Philippines and I am not.

234: Instinct

There are things about your self that you think you are good at. For me I know have great instinct. I can easily read through the way someone dress, body language, tone of voice or facial expressions. I often use such ability when dealing with people or situations. Sometimes my instinct is either a gift or a curse.

233: College

Spent the whole day last Saturday attending Josh's orientation. College makes or breaks dreams and aspirations. I expect the former for him. Although it cost me a parking ticket for parking at the wrong spot, it was a great day otherwise.

232: Fast Times

 Deirdre passed her driving test after her second try. Her first try I wasn't there. But this time, there's no way I could miss this one. Not even pressing problems at the office can stop me from being there for her. Just seeing her big smile and a sign of thumbs up to me as she alight after a brief run around the block made me feel contented.

Yesterday, I asked Josh how's school (he started his college life this week). I was expecting the usual "fine", or "it's ok" or "I don't know". But to my surprise he said "Amazing, I love College". The sweetest words a parent can hear.

Nadire called me as I was about to munch a big salad bowl at subway (surprisingly I was the only customer) asking how to use the washing machine. She wanted to wash her school bag, all clean and dandy. "Turn to the normal mode, add detergent, set it and forget it", I said.

I hang up the phone, turn to my lunch, I can hear Bob Seger (We've got tonight who needs tomorrow) over the piped-in music. Fast times are here, I thought...and I'm in peace.

#231: More Name Game

Today is my youngest daughter's birthday. It's the second birthday celebration within three days. After a whirlwind trip to Vegas over the weekend, we decided to take it easy and had a simple dinner at our favorite Chinese Restaurant (by the way, I can say this is the best place to have Chinese.For those who will visit me soon in San Diego, remind me to take you there) .

Nadire (Nadirey) is now 13. As her sister Deirdre, Her name Nadire Irelan has a little bit of story behind it. I got her name when I was attending a U.N. conference in Istanbul in 1996. Nadire was a reporter, she was Turkish and quite a feisty lady. Her second name Irelan was actually the country Ireland (same as Deirdre's Erin) or the famous actress Jill Ireland without the d.

It's not clear what she wants to be at this time. But I always tell her not to worry about it. She's young and should enjoy being just that.One thing's for sure though, she said she'll hire a butler for me before she leaves. :-)

230: Name Game

I was thinking of naming her Eric Jr. if she was a boy. But she turned out to be a girl. So I was thinking of Erica. In the end I settled for "Deirdre". I first heard the name "Deirdre" from a character (a stunning Russian Model) in one of the TV episodes of Mickey Spillane's Mike Hammer in 1986. The name got embedded in my mind as I finally had the chance to use seven years later.

Of course the first name wasn't enough. I needed a second name. Not having second name or even third for a child is considered blasphemy, at least in the Philippines(I myself officially has three names). 

So, for her second name, I picked "Erin" which is the the romantic name of country Ireland. Erin was a favorite word in the crossword puzzle section of the Philippine Daily Inquirer paper, a favorite morning paper in our household during my college days. 

Combining the two names "Deirdre Erin" turned out to be a perfect match. Everyone I meet says that her name is quite rare or unique which definitely fits her character. Although her name has different spin-offs depending who's saying it. Her friends sometimes calls her "Didra", "Derdra" or "Dirdra". Of course our family would go for a more Filipino sounding name like "Debrang", "Dengdang" or "didi". I myself call her Deirds or sometimes "pong" (which is nadire's) by mistake.

And so goes the name game, as I (for the nth time) narrated to my kids while enjoying a pig-out dinner at Todai on Deirdre Erin's 17 years of existence. 

As we got out (after an hour mind you) bloated, I told them to stand in front the restaurant. "Why?", they asked. "Let's take pictures", I jokingly suggested. "Yeah right", they said as they turned away. "Hey come on it's bad not taking pictures on the places you go to!, you're Tita Chiquit will be mad!", I pleaded. "Fine more stories coming tomorrow during our long drive to Vegas", I said. "Good I will make you crazy with my Korean music for 4 hours", Deirdre fired back.

227: Stages of Fatherhood

Being a father has many stages. I've been a father for eighteen year and here's what i think of being a father so far.

Stage 1 - First few months, you start not to get enough sleep (and sex), lose some weight and smell like baby drool when you go to the office. Your house resembles a factory of large-packed diapers.

Stage 2 - More diapers. You start talking like a baby. Words like "dada", "baba" comes out naturally. traveling is a challenge. Your luggage resemble a whole month visit but in reality you're just going to your in-laws for a few hours. If you're not visiting your in-laws, they visit you instead  and more often than not they teach you a trick or two in parenting.

Stage 3 - You start to gain weight for eating all the leftovers from happy meals and ice creams they wanted but never can finish. You can't go out with your friends because no one will take care of the kids. Your house is a mess, you can't see your floor because toys and books are everywhere.

Stage 4 - You make sure you don't kiss them in public because they get embarrassed. Suddenly you are on your own because they rather go out with friends than going with you. You start to brush up on your math, english and history to survive the debate. You start to get few words like "fine", "i guess", "i don't know" or "I don't care".

There will be more as time goes by. You're a father from erection to resurrection. Bottom line is, you knew what you're gonna get and you're not going anywhere.

225: A girl or a boy?

It was 21 years ago today. I was outside the delivery room. No I wasn't waiting for my baby to come out. it was my sister's (Chiquit) second born.  As a good brother and soon to be an uncle, I was there for support.

But helping someone go through the process is not as simple as you think. First, can someone explain why most women go into labor at ungodly hours? Maybe it's a way women get even to their husbands who they blame for their 9 months of suffering. e.g. the morning sickness, the craving for weird food, the humiliation of being fat and ultimately the pain of giving birth. I have heard stories about women calling their husband the worse name you can imagine during labor.

Second, the waiting... ah yes the waiting, the pacing, the twiddling. If you had a chance to wait before, you know very well how long this thing takes.The worse part of waiting though is you can't leave (not even a brief bathroom break). It's the rule and you can't break that rule. Why? Because anytime, the doctor will come out the door and there's no one there to deliver the news. This will piss your wife more that you can ever imagine.

Anyway, I finally got the words that she's ready to blow (was it 6 or 7 cm when it's time?). A few more minutes, the door opened and I saw Dr. Villaraza, still wearing her scrubs and mask, looked around and shouted " Who's with Chiquit?". I walked towards her and she said "It's a girl! i mean it's a boy!".

And the rest is history... 21 years ago we called him GalBoy (coined from Girl-Boy). Today he's Kyle and he's 21. I saw him two weeks ago and yes he's a fine young man. He has moved out of her mom's. Although every now and then he would raid her mom's fridge when he has the time between school and work. He looked tired but seems to be enjoying his life.

p.s. 3 years after Kyle was born, I found myself doing an encore. But this time, it was my own baby (Josh) and thanks to my earlier exposure,  it was a walk in the park.

223: Josh's Day

A special day for Josh. Today is the end of his high school days and soon the start of his college days. As I sat as one of the spectators watching the formalities, I can't help but feel proud of him. How he have grown to a fine young man. He said he wants to be in business and will soon rule the world. Quite a lofty ambition, I said. "But make sure you do it right. And when you're up there remember you still owe me lunch. "

210: The longest three days of my life

It was 15 years ago. I remember we were on our way to the hospital. It was time for my third child to arrive in this world. That day, I remember we have to swing by my wife's sister to pick her up. We needed her help in taking care of Josh and Deirdre. Just like two previous occasions of her pregnancy, I expected a long wait outside the deliver room. As we approach my wife's sister's house, I noticed one of the street's name called Aemes. For some reason, that name got stuck in my mind.

We arrived at the hospital and she was quickly wheeled into the delivery room. Now the long wait has started. But after half an hour or so, the doctor emerged from the room and calmly informed us that it was false alarm. "Too early, go home", she said, to our disappointment.

She finally came out two days later. She was beautiful. She actually look like her sister Deirdre when she was still a baby. She has round face, round head and few thin hair. She was in peace and sleeping not mindful of the other baby's around her in the nursery. Her doctor says she's going to be fine which was a welcome news to us.

We have decide much earlier that we will name her Veronica Nicole. But later added Aemes (as in the street name). So it came to Veronica Aemes Nicole. Such a long name, I thought. I am sure she would hate us when she will soon start to write her name.

But our celebration was brief as I got a call a day later. There was something wrong. The doctor said that she started to look pale and having difficulty in breathing. They need to perform some test and was immediately put in an incubator and was isolated. Later on the doctor told us that Aemes has a Congenital Heart Disease. I didn't know what that was then, but sure sounds scary. After the doctor explain what it is, and that the chances of Aemes to live is next to impossible, my heart sunk.

All I wanted at that point was to see her. And I did. When i saw her, she was awake but it was obvious she was in pain. Her breathing was heavy. I offered my hand and she gamely grab it tightly and somehow wanted to say something. I felt she wanted to get out of the incubator. I didn't want to leave but the doctor said I have to.

The next day, Aemes needed a blood transfusion. I was immediately tested and it was a match. I don't remember how much blood they took but it was a lot as I felt weak afterwards. The transfusion made her feel better. 

But not for long. Veronica Aemes Nicole died on the third day. She only lived for three days but it was the longest three days of my life.

#205: Mom

I remember my mom would tell us the story on how she got separated from her family during the bombing of Bangued by the Japanese during World War II. She went missing for days. Her parents though they won't see her again. But she lived to raise 6 kids. Became a teacher and later on became the head of the Education Department in Abra for years until she retired. She's one respectable educator, she's a loving wife and a great mother.

I always have a good relationship with my mom: unconditional love and friendship. I can not count how many times I had failed her as a son. But she's always been there. I have witnessed her cry (the most when my dad died) but most of the time I have witnessed her smile and laugh specially when all of her children were around.

My mom is 77 years old today and I pray she will always be with us. I hope I could see here soon.

#200: Parents Beware

Watched "Lovely Bones" with Nadire and friends. The movie is about child abduction and murder. Quite scary for parents like me. It shows how creeps are out there lurking ready to prey on innocent children. Parents always be in touch of your kids and be aware of their whereabouts.

#196: Giving advice

Tonight, not only did I follow my own instinct, I listened to my children. There's nothing better to have your own children gives you the right advice. They have great ideas...they are not kids anymore.

#192: Nanette

We used to call her Jamie Rivera (Notice the uncanny resemblance?).

She used to cut our hair. But never wet your hair before hand because she won't do it.  She would keep a banana on her bath robe (dipig is her favorite). She likes chicken heart, though I would ate it sometimes because it's connected to the liver.

She would scream watching Pops and Martin  and can't stand Sharon Cuneta (maarte daw).

She left the Philippines just I had my first born. She's married to Mike (haven't met him in person but I heard he's a loving husband). She's enjoying being a mom to Aisha. And of course bugs me all the way from Canada for her computer problems.

Last time I saw her was in 1997, that's an eternity. But thanks to the Internet, we keep in touch. We had a two hour conversation over the holidays catching up on things.

Lastly, she loves this Joey Albert Song. To you my "still young" sis, Happy Birthday.

#187: Josh

My son Josh has been practicing everyday for his audition this month. He'll get a chance to get into Berklee College of Music in Boston this fall.

Here's two of his recording.





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#180: Ties that bind

I have not seen my mom for long time. Ditto my brothers and sisters. Christmas season definitely gives us a chance to reconnect with each other either through phone, or through the net. But the important thing is the love and caring we have. Those are the ties that bind and you'll have a family forever.

#179: Christmas

Christmas. Receiving is okay. Giving is good. Sharing the memories with love ones is the best. Once you recognized that, it'll be for keeps.